A Mother's Love

It's been quite sometime since my last blog, probably too busy and running out of ideas on what to write. Finally I have something that I think it's worth commenting and share.

I always think that a mother's love to their children is always the greatest and unconditional but I am totally wrong. Maybe I am just too lucky to have one who always think and do the best for their children than for herself. I realised that not all mother has no condition for what they does for their children. It's a child responsibility to take care of the parent bt not a condition to do it in a parent's way. Perhaps some mother didn't realised that actually they have conditioned their children in some ways.

I should changed my sentence to "All mother loves their children" but some with conditions. Finally I have seen some that have conditions in it, but probably they are too selfish and shallow to see what they are doing are for their own good instead of for the good for their children. It's so sad that these kind of love existed in this world but on the other hand, it will makes me appreciate my mum's love even more. A mother fish protecting her eggs, yet they ate up all the eggs when feels that she don't have the ability to protect it. It's when she FEELS, doesn't mean it is going to happen.

Sad but true, but the only truth I know is that we ain't no fish. It's a fact that in all mother's eye, their children will never be grown up enough for their own, but in actual fact, they do grown up and they will be a parent next time too. The mature age was set at 21 years old for a reason, cos' everyone should be able to decide for themselves by then but of cos' there may have some exceptional case. Probably the kid are too protected by the parent and still depending on them. As someone said before.. a mountain that is smooth, cannot be climbed.

I hereby urged all shallow mothers out there, please think for the good of your children, than just selfishly satisfying your own "feel". They too have the right to choose as long as they are responsible for their own action. No one can choose and responsible for other's life. What you think is right doesn't mean is the best. You may think that you had won a battle now but eventually you will end up losing a war instead. As I am very sure that no one in this world can buy respect.. it needs to be earn. Think.

Benefits of $ingaporean?

Have you ever wonder what benefits do we have as a Singaporean? Besides having a clean, organise and safe place to stay. I agreed that these are important, but we share all these benefits with foreigner and PR. Where's our exclusive benefits we have as a Singaporean? Only for Singaporean - Singaporean here represent a single person or married with family.

Here's one of the article taken from Straits Time on 20 Jan 2007:

After reading the article, I send an email to stomp which was not published, so I decided to share my thoughts here instead:

Re: Articles on 20 Jan 2007 - The dollars and sense of citizenship

Dear Editor

After reading through the articles on saturday regarding about the benefits of singapore, I have some comments on this issue. The example used was based on the SIngaporean who has a family, how about those who does not have a family, those who are divorce or single?

The example stated for housing was based on the price that the family paid for in 1983, which has a 200% plus growth after 24 years. Are you sure that houses brought now will have 200% growth in the next 23 years? As for the heathcare, you will only be able to benefits if you are sick which nobody wants to. For education, the fees was used to compare with foreigners instead of PR, plus it will only be benefits if we are Singaporean with kids.

What about benefits of Singaporean as a "Singaporean" itself? You know, any of my friends from oversea, they are so proud to be their citizen of their own country. What do we have to be proud of our own country? What is our country doing for us? I have served the army for 2 years and now still serving as a reservist and PR in Singapore don't have to do it and enjoy most of the previlege we had and even better. Why is it better?

For PR, you can buy a resale HDB with sibling as long as the parents are not here. Singaporean can do that too, but how many Singaporean whose parent are not here? We should be given better advantages in getting a "Space" of our own. We will be more independent, doesn't mean that we won't married when the time is right. You can't force people to marry because of the HDB, ending up, you will just achieve a higher divorce rate instead. Example 2, if based on what the government discussion on the IR, if Singaporean need to pay in order to enter IR, then what is the benefits of being a Singaporean?

Sometimes, the government should let the people choose what we think is best for us and not what they think is best for us.

Thanks and Regards


After reading this, do you have any thoughts to share?

我的黑色颐和园

After watching the movie "summer palace" with some good friends, we decided to find a place to have some drinks and discussion. We realised that what being shown has some reflections of our real life from the people you know. You may need to have some experiences in relationship in order to appreciate this show.

I remembered one part that touches me is that this main actress trying to light a cigarette and she happen to ask for a lighter from this boyfriend. This boyfriend who has a lighter that just couldn't light up. Suddenly, the actress seems to has solved the puzzle which is in her heart for so many years. A relationship is just like smoking a stick of cigarette to keep you warm when the weather's cold. Every partner you find represent a lighter, but not all lighter will works. Even if it works and lighted your cigarette, it will only warmed you for a length of a cigarette. How many stick do you really need to keep you warm in a Lifetime?

In actual life, we are born alone, and wil eventually die alone. Everyone seems to felt so cold to be alone and searching for ways to warm themselves. Some may even get lost. In real life, some people you met earlier may be the only one you can love later, just that it just happen to appear at the wrong time of your life. Once you missed it, you missed it. There's just no way to turn back, the fire will not be lighted up again.

Life's such a drama.

My Health or My Hell

Today is not a special day, but it is for me! So embarrassed to admit that I had just passed my IPPT after eight lessons of remedial training. IPPT was never a difficult task for me these ten years until I failed last year. What I meant here was that to pass is not that difficult but if to score, you may need to be more hardworking which I don't really bothered.

The failing has enlightened me that age is catching up, and weights are going up at the same time too. I better buck up before it's too late! I think it's time to watch my diet and have some discipline on exercising weekly. At the end of the day, your health belongs to you, no one will be responsible to take care for you. Even the riches man in the world would want to buy health, but maybe they can buy to a certain extend.

Remember, 健康是你最大的财富! Cheers for more healthy years.. and wealthy years too!

A tribute to my O2 and ipod

Last week, my friends and I were having fun at a beach party but unfortunately my two good buddies drowned - my dear O2 (darkness2007) and ipod video (cow). I tried to saved them but seems like electrical stuff really can't swim.

Weeks before, i reinstalled my desktop and accidentally deleted 10Gb of my mp3 that i thought will be able to extract from my ipod. Currently ipod or itune can't do that yet, but i found a 3rd party software that can do that - iGadget. The software itself cost US$15, I was thinking maybe I can find a free version on the web. Feeling relieved after figuring out the solution, i started to take my own sweet time to do it. Only God knows that it will be drowned weeks later.

Now, its time to pay for my retributions for taking things for granted. Somethings in life are just so unpredictable, never just assumed that things are there just when you need it. Anything can happens at anytime unexpectedly, but don't get upset when it happens, i believe everything happened for a reason. It may be a blessing in disguised.

After the incident, i search around and I found their long lost son - the walkman phone called "darkness II". Seems like i am not good in naming things. Anyway, thanks for the two buddies that stays with me for the good and bad times. They will always stay as a part of my memories...

Are you what you think you are?

Have you ever think of asking yourself this question? - Are you what you think you are? When you are in a comfort zone, most likely you wouldn't think of this.

I have been in relationship for too long, never alone before, until my last one ended. It was long enough for me to forget when is the last time I breath the air by myself. I am too used to breathing in two. I realized that this is the beginning of being myself again, It had never been so real as myself before. I never really take a close up and understanding myself when I am in two.

Now that I believe that knowing yourself is so important before knowing someone else. I remember once I quoted 'you can lost anything in your life but not yourself'. A person without personality is an empty shell - soulless. I will still lived by the quote until now. Correct me if you think I am wrong.

If you really want to know who you are, you can try drink some alcohol. You will tend to relax yourself after some drinks but not too much. Maybe by then, you will discovered the real you behind all this shadows, realises who you really are and what you really want. Good luck!

My Food

I am a food lover who can travelled a distance just to eat something I craved for. Yesterday, on my way back home after my class, I stopped by a hawker centre for some food. I ordered the famous fried oyster and it came in the best colour, smell and taste.

The olden chinese always say that a good food is make up of the 'colour', 'smell' and 'taste' (色香味俱全). I realised that it may be more then that. It will still need to depend on 'your mood' and 'companion' you are with. It's like drinking beer alone or with good friends or drinking in a bad mood or a happy mood. Seems like same beer but different taste at different time.

If you think eating alone is bad, wait until you eat with someone you dislike. I will rather eat alone.

My good food = colour + smell + taste + mood + companion. Agree?

A pair of life

Basically in Singapore, you may need to be in pair in order to be considered as 'having a life' but I will called it 'a pair of life' instead. Having a space of your own, you will need to be rich enough to afford a private apartment or you will have to be in pair in order to buy a hdb. Sad but true.This is not a place for poor single to stay but what I think is that we should be more independent before we really start a family. Anyway, the government will realise this one day.

Does everything you does has to do it in two? What if you are alone? Does it mean that you will not be given a life? Whatever you does is 'no life'? One of my friend said that 'having a life' is to going to museum with her spouse. Is that really are? Yes, but only apply to her. I do enjoy going museum, but there's much more 'life' out there for me then just that.

Actually, it really depends on individual as everyone are satisfy with different 'life'. Singlehood to someone may seem lifeless because they choose to view it in this way but not to all. I think I will rather called it a 'pair of life' and a 'single life'. Infact, we just need to enjoy life while we can.

Someone once adviced me - treasure what you have now. Didn't I? Did you?

电影"门徒"说"到底空虚恐怖,还是毒品恐怖?"
我说"到底失去自己恐怖,还是失去感情恐怖?"

Meaning vs Process

As the year goes by, I starting to realise that I am losing the meaning. What’s the meaning? The meaning of doing something. Remember the time when we will young, celebrating Chinese New Year is a great things for us. Kids will love to have “Ang Bao”, but now… we are no longer kids… “Ang Bao” became the process of CNY instead. We no longer sees the meaning of it. For reunion dinner, it’s another process that need to be done. Do we really feel like reunion or just a process? Nobody knows better than you.

Normally, we will have a farewell party on the last day for the person who resigned. We will have drinks and talking sessions as if we will never meet again, but maybe we really won’t meet again. How many of you really have the truth feeling of farewell? Where is the meaning? These are just some living examples. Throughout the years, I think that “process” is slowly taking over the “meaning” subconsciously. Maybe it's because that we are now in the digital age, we can use email, sms, msm instead of meeting. Although it may bring friends who stay further nearer, but may just end up bringing the friends who are staying nearer further. If you are not careful, you may be losing the meaning of life.

Happy Lunar New Year! It’s not a process, sincerely from me.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning” - Ken Hudgins

It's time to say GoodBye again...

I realise that it's not easy to say goodbye to a good friend. At least I am not good at saying it. It's not just like a goodbye hug or a pat on the shoulder. Every words have a certain amount of weight attached to it. Every goodbye you said, changes take place in your life. I really hated to say goodbye, but you just have to...

When you really think about it, people in your life, comes and goes. No one really will stays with you forever, every life move on... people goes in different ways. As we chinese says, the most painful thing in this world is to bid farewell (生离死别). Saying goodbye is like making payment at the shopping centre counter after your shopping. It has finally reached a stop point. The only thing different is that we don't buy things, what we check out is memories.

This month I just happened to check out twice. One moving to a better prospect career as another moved to a better place on earth. Goodbye my dear friend! I will miss you, bon voyage...

Brother Bonding Beer

Last week, I had an interesting drinking session with my 'brothers'. The feeling was really great, it deserved to be written into my blog. These people are not my real brother, they are my good friends or you can call them my drinking kakis. Some are single, some are attached but we still make an effort to meet each other.

Normally we meet for some drinks and sinful food, it can be anywhere any place. One thing good about this brotherhood bonding is that we don't really asked a lot of questions when we arrange for a session. All that matters are drink, that's why we are called "jui guei". If a women was involved, it may be different. Of course it does not applied to all women, I am not trying to be a MCP here. Normally girls will ask a lot of questions before they decide on something - like, who's going, where to go, etc. For guys, we just need some cosy place with food and drinks... or maybe with plasma tv showing soccer and we are done. I think drinking is the bonding we had for years. Can you imagine if we drink coffee instead? Do people drink jug of coffee?

Not all my friends know each other, but drinking pulled us together. So far, all of my drinking friends mix around very well. Either it's because of the alcohol effect or because we are all guys. As long as friends that drink, it will be much easler to pull them together. One of my friend used to drink only one mug of beer for a session, I mean a drinking session. By the time we ended our session, the beer is already warm like coffee. You know, it's very sinful to heat up your beer. By through years, he finally realised this idea - No more keeping fish in the beer (that's what we called when someone doesn't drink his beer for sometime). Why does people choose to drink beer then to coffee? Probably because the more you drink, the more real you will become. No one will be able to act when alcohol take control, it's the real you.

Sometimes, we do stupid things after drinking, but it's fun to experience that because we just won't do it when we are sober. Hello guys, grap one if you haven't start yet. Everyone deserve to enjoy this bonding. Let us cheers for the creation of alcohol! Yam seng!

将进酒
作者：李白

君不见黄河之水天上来，奔流到海不复回？
君不见高堂明镜悲白发，朝如青丝暮成雪？
人生得意须尽欢，莫使金樽空对月。
天生我材必有用，千金散尽还复来。
烹羊宰牛且为乐，会须一饮三百杯。
岑夫子，丹丘生，将进酒，杯莫停。
与君歌一曲，请君为我倾耳听。
钟鼓馔玉不足贵，但愿长醉不愿醒。
古来圣贤皆寂寞，惟有饮者留其名。
陈王昔时宴平乐，斗酒十千恣欢谑。
主人何为言钱少？径须沽取对君酌。
五花马，千金裘，
呼儿将出换美酒，与尔同销万古愁。

Changes in Life

I used to be a person who believes that we should lead our life the way we want it to be. We change things to what we want it to be, we fight for what we want. Everything was so well planned and executed until I met someone who totally changed my perspective to life. Some things in life will not be yours even if you fight till your last breath. I have learn that what’s yours will be yours, it’s a matter of time, and what’s not, will never is, no matter how hard you tried. It seems that I have gained a new vision that can see things that I can't see in the past.

I heard from someone that we are crafted by the people around us - our family, friends, relatives and even strangers that we met once a while. It won’t be surprised that people who make a great change in your life will be a stranger instead of someone close to you. How is it possible that someone could change the whole crafting instantly? This is something that I wouldn't believe before I met one. It's not really a bad idea to meet someone like this. It is nearly impossible to change something that you strongly believe in to something else, but it's still possible.

Changing oneself doesn't mean that you have lost yourself, you just upgraded to another version - A better one, that's why it's called an upgrade. Some people may choose to downgrade themselves after they met this someone. Afterall, we do have a choice, it will depends on what we want to choose. Yes, it's always easier said then done, but if you don't do it, nothing will be done.

I have now learned how to lead a life that happens naturally and the ability to adapt to any kind of changes in life. Remember one thing, nothing will be permanent or forever. All the things we had now will change anytime, we will just have to adjust or leave it in order to move on. Do not take life for granted.

As time goes by, I have started to realise that I do not choose the way I lead my life, but my life choose the way it want me to lead instead.

"And I know what I have to do now.. I gotta keep breathing.. Because tomorrow the sun will rise..Who knows what the tide could bring?" - From the movie "Cast Away"

New Year, New Start, New Challenges

Finally, I thought that I am done with 2006, but not really. When moving into 2007, the first thing in my mind was "what have I done in 2006 and what is going to happen in 2007?". I should be feeling really great for the arrival of new year but I am NOT! What's happening to me? Somewhere or some place is wrong.

In 2006, it wasn't a great year for me but things are picking up at the second half of the year, and it stopped. When I passed the New Year, I have this feeling of lost. Maybe it's because that I know what is going to happen in 2007 - everything is going to stay as it is, not much changes if I just remain as what I am doing now. It’s so predictable! I have this perception that every year has to be better than the one before or has to be different at least. I am not going to waste my 2007, I need a brand new year, a different one, a better one.

I have been struggling for days just thinking of what I wanted to do to improve my 2007. Time does not wait for anyone, while I am struggling, I started to realise that things are changing around me. Nice colleagues at work are leaving for individual reason. Infact, I think that friends are my main drive for work. Not money Not work, why? Doesn’t mean that I don’t like money or work, it’s just that it is the must important factor for me. I never really think of the 'why' part until I feel my drive is gone.

When you think back, we spent most of our working hours just on getting work done. How much time do we talk to colleagues at work, of course I don’t mean by talking about working subject. This may be what most of us missed, 'busy' is always the excuse we used when we were asked. It all depends on your priority. I will prefer to build a strong relationship compare to a strong work. It will be great if we can have both, we may need to balance in some way. I believe at the end of the day, if we happen to change job, the work will stays with the company but relationship move with you. Do you agree?