I hate this world

Sometimes I have this sudden feeling of "I hate this world" when I woke up in the morning. You just don't feel right, all you want is to reboot your whole system and start everything from scratch. Probably it's a stress releases from whatever you had done before. Something you just wish to experience again, so you can do it better. After all, everything seems not as important to you anymore, you just want to get out of this world.

When you cleared your mind and try to think simple, it's just so meaningless in whatever you are doing. Everything's going to end when you die, even if you are someone who is famous, you will be forgotten one day. Is the so call process really so important? I guess it's the best we could have if we compare to sitting there doing nothing while waiting for your death, right?

“You can run from the world, but you can't hide from it..”

Are you what your sign are?

Are you a horoscope person? Although I believe in horoscope, but I am not a supersitious person. I think that a person character is based on it's horoscope, but it does not apply to whether this person is kind or not. Kindness is depending on the way he/she was brought up, the friends they mixed with, the environment, etc.

I believe that in every sign will have good and bad substances. Therefore, through your life experiences, you will absorb the so call "substances" that created the "you" now.

Did you notice that most of the time, the sign with the same element click well with each other? Just simple ask around, and you will realise that they really are, but of course there are still some exception. Sometimes, it also depend on the chinese horoscope and the role you are playing withe the person.

Water: Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio
Earth: Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo
Air: Aquarius, Gemini, Libra
Fire: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Although the same sign gets along well, but it doesn't mean that they will make a happy couple. It takes more then 'click' to make a relationship works, I guess 'sign' gave a good head start. Couple with a different sign will have to work even harder to make things work.

URGENT?

Urgent, urgent, urgent! Everything seems to be urgent nowadays in this little city. Are they really urgent? Yes and no, I think most of the time, it had been abused.

The value of 'urgent' had dropped quite a bit. It's like the horn for the car which was originally meant for emergency use, but a lot of the drivers abused it by using unnecessarily.

I remember there's a story of the shepherd who lies about the coming of the wolf and laughed at the kind villagers who came to his rescue. For the third time when the wolf really appeared, no one trusted him anymore and nobody came to help. This story reminds us don't take things for granted. Just imagine that a person always come to you and tell you that the 'something' is 'urgent', sooner or later, you will lost the trust in him and when he really need something which is really urgent, I bet that anyone will ever believe him again. So remember, don't abuse the word 'urgent'.

Urgent by dictionary.com means:

1. compelling or requiring immediate action or attention; imperative; pressing: an urgent matter.
2. insistent or earnest in solicitation; importunate, as a person: an urgent pleader.
3. expressed with insistence, as requests or appeals: an urgent tone of voice.

You and your perception

Recently I have a very interesting lesson on perception and communication, my lecturer gave us this story:

THE CROCODILE RIVER CASE
A lady named Abigail was in love with Gregory. They live beside a river that was full of crocodiles. They lived on the opposite sides of the river, but there was bridge; so they could cross the river and see each other often.

One day, the bridge was blown away with flood. Abigail tried cross the river to see Gregory, but she couldn't. So she requested a river-boat captain Sinbad to take her to the other side of the river. Sinbad told her that he would do so if Abigail go to bed with him. Abigail denied and complained to her friend Ivan; he just listened and did nothing. Being desperate, Abigail agreed to Sinbad's proposal and Sinbad took her to the other side of the river.

After seeing Gregory, Abigail told him about her incident; Gregory immediately left Abigail. Abigail got angry and told her misery to her friend Slug. Slug became so angry that he brutally beat Gregory. Then Abigail laughed at Gregory.

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We were supposed to write down a list stating from the worst character to least worst. After that, we have to get into groups planned by him. I was 'lucky' enough to fall into group with four girls, so I am like the opposition party there.

Here's my choice and why:
Abigail -> Ivan -> Gregory -> Sinbad -> Slug

Abigail - I really think that she's the roots of all problems. Viewing from my angle, I see her as not sacrificing for love, but her ''desire". She shouldn’t just believe that Sinbad is the only way to cross the river, you can just think of some other ways, maybe build your own boat, etc. She finally 'sacrificed' herself and expecting Gregory will accept her glory sacrifice. After she got rejected, and talk to Slug on how she feels, but end up laughing at Gregory after he was beaten up by Slug. I felt that that's really disgusting character, laughing at the one you called your love? That's not love, she sacrificed just for her needs and desire.

Ivan - my second choice is Ivan because he is the first person Abigail asked for help, but yet he is no doing anything to help. This kind of friend is really disgusting, you should at least helps to think of other ways for her, or maybe tell her it's not worth sleeping with Sinbad. It's the worst friend you will want to have.

Gregory - the story does not mention that this guy loves Abigail, so what’s wrong in rejecting someone that loves you. Should you love anyone who sacrificed to love you? Actually, if they really love each other, he should be the one who should find a way to cross the river instead. He is weak and got beaten up by Slug, so I think he deserve a third place.

Sinbad - this guy is not a friend of Abigail, so as a business point of view, he should get something back in return. It just happen that he ask for something else instead of money, but he fulfilled his promise after he gets what he wants. If you replaced money with sex, it’s just a normal trading. No one forces anyone to do anything, don’t you think so?

Slug – Overall, Slug is a straightforward person with low EQ and emotional. He try to help Abigail by beating Gregory up which does not really helps in the situation. Beating up someone may be bad physically, but I feel that he is not a bad person psychologically.

After all this discussion, we conclude that the arrangement will be like:
Abigail -> Sinbad -> Gregory -> Ivan -> Slug

That’s no way we can really convince each other in the heart, everyone tends to believe that what they think is the best. No one supposed to judge anyone base on their perception towards a certain things. You will be surprise that most of the people are not so diplomatic, I guess it takes a lot of life experiences to reach that stage. It’s ok to believe in yourself, but at least we need to respect others choices too. No one have the right to force anyone to do anything, just get the best possible compromised ways to have the work done and move on..

"It’s such a disappointment when a friend used their perception to judge you and insisted that the ways you see things are wrong."

Single pathetic msn

If you ask me to describe what is msn, I will probably say that msn is a friend that is single. Do you realise that most of the time, your msn contacts that go online are single especially after office hours. Probably only single people have more personal time for msn. It’s so pathetic isn’t it? Some people may think that single people who on their msn everyday are people with no life.

What happen to those who are attached or married? Wouldn't they time for msn? I think msn is just like friends to them, they will only go online when they need it. Some people may disagree with me, but you can’t disagree with the fact. You think it’s sad? I say no, I think it’s only sad when you become single one day with no friends, not even msn.

After discussing about msn, I guess friendster will be even worst. It's seems like it's invented not only for single people but single and desperate people.. hahaha.. what you think? how about blog? From my point of view, it's for lonely soul to express their feeling..

"My spiderman is a dark lonely soul"

Subconscious vs Substitution?

Do you agree that most people will find substitution for things they had lost. If you lost a mobile phone, you will substitute by buying a new one. By doing this, it will probably satisfy your needs.

If you have craving for food before, you will understand what I meant. For example, you are craving for the 'chicken rice' from a XYZ store and it just happen that the store didn't open on the day you craved. You may just decide to take the 'chicken rice' from a different store thinking that it will helps to clear your crave. After eating, you still prefer the 'chicken rice' from a XYZ store. You may think that this substitution has replaced the original crave. On the surface, it may seems like it had, but in actual fact, you still desire for the 'chicken rice' from a XYZ store. Just that the thought is now hiding behind your subconscious. It will keep on hunting you in your sleep till you have taken it. This does not only applies to your craving for food, it also applies to things you do in your daily life.

Substitution can never be replaceable by your crave, but maybe it will helps to postpone the urged. Don't you agree?

Recommended movie:
Open Your Eyes by Carola Angulo (II)
Vanilla Sky by Tom Cruise

无奈

Have you ever been caught in a position where you can never do anythng on a particular situation? For example, you're waiting for a bus for an hour, and no sign of it. When you know that you are going to be late, so you try to get a cab, but no cab, and your mobile phone is flat, and the only choice left is the bus. When the bus reached, you realise that it's already fully packed that it is not possible to even squeeze in another person. I will call this '无奈'. In any way, this example can only be seen as a bad day, because when you think of it, it does not really cause a lot of harm or damage. But if you imagine that similar situation happen when you are rushing to save someone life or something that is really important and it will makes a lot of difference.

In actually fact, this kind of situation only exist to make me appreciate what I have now and consistently reminds me not to take things for granted. Think of the brighter side, it can always be worst!

人生真无奈.. You are not even involve in the birth of yourself.. life is such an irony.. 无奈

Belief and Crave 信念与欲望 (former Believe and desire)

Have you ever think of the life you are leading now? Is it base on your belief [believe]* or crave [desire]*?

Most of us will probably live for the crave [desire] for the 5C (credit card, cash, condo, car and career). Do all these items can really make you happy? For people who don't know what's real happiness are, maybe it will.

Recently I have read a very inspiring and motivating Japanese comic. They mention that there are two kinds of people who have ambition - one is base on their crave (desire), one on their belief [believe]. Actually, the different between crave (desire) and belief (believe) is whether you are the leader or he is. I found that most of the city people live base on their crave (desire). It's so sad if crave (desire) is the one who lead your life.

You may think that you need money to survive but will die if you do not have? We only need the basics to survive, it's the crave (desire) in you that make you think that you need more, don't you think so?

"Some people may think that comics are for kids, but I don't really agree. I think that people who read comics, will have dreams."

*Belief = 信念, Crave = 欲望

Where you want to go?

Imagine, will you take a train without knowing where you want to go? Maybe some people does, but most of them wouldn't. It goes the same for life direction, you will need to know your destination before you decide on type of transport you are taking. Some destinations are short, some are long. As long you have one, you will eventually reach there, it's a matter of time.

Life destination is like a long trip, there may have people you meet on the way may travel with you. Some only passes by your life, some supported you on the way, some left you to go elsewhere, some may rob you, etc. As long as you don't get murdered, the journey continued.

Is it really so difficult to find one?
Just think what makes you happy, and you will know what you want. Probably by then, you will be able to find your direction.

For the lost moon...

Work and Overtime

When we talk about work, average people work from 8am to 5pm or 9am to 6pm, 5 times a week, some 5 and a half. Minus away lunch, it's about 8 hours a day, 40 - 44 hours a week.

If we spent 8 hours on work, 2 hours on traveling, 2 hrs on meal, 8 hours on sleep, we only left with 4 hours for ourself excluding the misc stuff we do daily. It's only enough to watch 2 dvd.

Some people work late to prove their commitment and loyalty for the company. To me, OT is inefficiency. We are in a world of technology, not production, times don't count like usual way. Work smart not hard. Here's the way I look at OT:

1. Inefficiency
2. Overloaded
3. Acting
4. Bad time management

For point 1, if you are not born with it, you have to work for it, or else you will need some luck. For point 2, it's very common in asia, you have to voice out, if no improvement was made, I suggest it's time to go. For point 3, I suggest you go hollywood if you can act well. For point 4, sometimes it's not your fault, someone screw up the timing, treat this as a challenge, I believe at least you can reduce OT if time is manage well.

Finally, think! Why you work so hard for? I guess must be for a 'reason' (family, money, meaning, etc). If you spend all your time on work, do you have time for the 'reason' you are working for.

*unless your reason for work is to spent all the time you have, then I suggest you give me your money, you don't have time to spent. :P

My Theory on Life

From what I understand, we were not given a choice to live in this world - our parents bring us here.

I think that everyone is born with a piece of paper, and you will hand in your piece of art work at the end of your life. Here's some of the rules:

• You will decide your own theme and colour.
• There's a different deadline for everyone, but you are not suppose to know.
• There will be no undo to whatever you draw, even if you think that it's not nice.

The best way to avoid making mistake is probably don't even start any drawing. Don't be surprised that someone will just hand in a blank paper when they die. There are many people who live life without any direction, when there's no direction, you will be going nowhere.

Life can also be described like a stock market, some stocks have lots of ups and downs, some are like blue chips, consistently steadily up, some neither have ups or down. One thing for sure, no one will enjoy the down. I think the 'down' is to make you appreciate the 'up' next time.

Remember one thing - everyone only live once, so live with colours. Share your theory on life.

'Life is short, live fast and die young'

Money

To me, I think that money is like the 'devil', how much you have, depends on how much you can control it. If you have more than you can control, you may end up being controlled by them. I have seen too many people lost themselves over the 'devil' but don't even realised it, it's sad but true.

Once my friend told me he thinks that those people who spent money will knows how to earn money better then those who don't spent. I told him that I know some people who earn a lot and don't spend. He answered that your money does not belongs to you if you don't spent it, it belongs to the bank or whatever you put your money at. I think it is sort of quite true, what do you think?

Smoking

Smoking is bad for health. Everybody knows that, but why are there still so many people smoking? Smoking may seems like destroying you physically, but it really helps to release some stress (only smokers will understand). If only mental destruction can be determined like physical destruction, quitting smoking will be a real mental damage for smokers. I once tried to quit smoking immediately, but feel like was under depression everyday, I guess I should slow down the process. I think by eating too much unhealthy food, it may kill you as fast as what smoking does.

No matter what, I believe that mind over body. A happy and healthy mind will have a happy and healthy body. If smoking can make you mentally happy, why not? Probably another dark side of me.

Share your thoughts, especially non-smoker out there. ;P

'Dream like you are going to live forever, and live like you are going to die today.'

Love

The most powerful thing in the world is probably love. What's love? I think it's one of the most difficult word to define. It comes and go, some stays, some changed over time, everyone desire for it, many take it for granted. As true love is unconditional, how many of you can do it? - probably everyone can. Love started unconditionally, but time challenges it. Time is the only prove to true love. Once, I saw a mother playing with her baby in a bus, through her eyes, I saw unconditional love.

'Love using your heart, love the soul, don't be blinded by your eyes. Physical appearance may change through time, but the soul will not.'

Do we really need love? Share your thoughts.

Darkness

What is darkness? Define darkness.

Darkness is a place where there's no light - night.

Some say that if you lost your eyes, your world will be complete darkness . I only agree half of it, and I will call this "physical darkness". By losing your eyes, you may have to live in a world with light, but by losing the eyes of your heart, it's when you will be completely darkness. Perhaps it should be called "mentally in darkness".

I think that many people today rely too much on their physical eyes that they forget to open the eyes of their heart. If you close your eyes, you are as good as blind.

'Sunset may be beautiful, but it's the ending of lights and the coming of darkness'